Creative Correction

This blog entry is a cheat, of sorts. I was recently cleaning out my email inbox and I found something I'd written in 2006. I hope you enjoy it!

I have been having problems with my 8 yr old daughter and her sassy, rude, haughty attitude toward me and her sisters. I tried to correct her every time she spoke an unkind word, but I did not seem to be making headway. It came to a climax on the way home from a sporting event, and I told her that I wasn't sure what else to do. I correct, correct, correct, but still her undesirable behavior persists. It was a teachable moment, though, so I seized the opportunity to talk to her about how wanting our own way all the time only leads to short-term satisfaction with long-term discord and strife. But giving up the things you want in order to serve someone else leads to harmony and contentment. As an example I told her that I had not really wanted to attend the sporting event, but I did it because she and her sisters wanted to go. Not only did I go, but I determined in my mind to have a good time, and that we all did. Had I taken them but been mad that I'd not gotten my way, it would have been a different and unpleasant experience.

That night I went to bed with the distinct feeling that my daughter was under spiritual attack and that I needed to pray for her, and for wisdom for me to know how to handle her disrespect and unkindness.

The next day my daughter was trying to think up ways to earn money for the missions offering at VBS. I told her I would give her a quarter for every 15 minutes that she wasn't rude or mean or nasty. I chose 15 minute intervals because, based on her behavior of late, I doubted she would be able to keep it together longer than that. Also, I didn't want to risk her messing up in the first couple of minutes and then thinking she may as well continue down that path until the next interval started. To my surprise and great pleasure, she earned $7 (out of a total possible $7.25, meaning she only had one 15 minute interval in which she acted rudely). Not only that, but I had offered each of my daughters $1 if they would help me clean my room. (See comment below.) One flat-out refused (not the one who'd been giving me problems), and another only gave a half-hearted effort, and then she disappeared. But the "problem child" stayed and helped with a good attitude until we got it done. I was so appreciative that I gave her the money I would have given her sisters, and by the end of the day she had earned a total of $10 for the mission offering!

The best part about it is the talk we had about how it wasn't actually difficult to be nice, and in fact it left her feeling better than she would had she been mean & nasty.

Praise God who was doubly glorified, not only in the godly behavior, but also in a larger missions offering!

Note: The parents' bedroom is often the most neglected room in the house, even though it needs to be our sanctuary for special time together and away from the children. Instead, we clear that pile of papers off a kitchen counter or entry hall table and pile it - where else? - on our dressers or beside our beds, or worse yet - on our beds where it gets gathered up again and tossed to the floor when, bleary-eyed, we approach the bed that evening. I know you are shaking your head in agreement because you have BEEN THERE! Maybe you can carve out some time today to make your bedroom your special place again.